Ái Vy's Advice #10: My Partner is a Liberal?

We are married and this is NOT gonna be the end of this partnership

Dear Ái Vy

Long time reader, first time writer omg. But my partner has been dabbling in *centrism* and *liberalism* but they’re like queer and GNC and a PoC and poly and it’s like… what are we doing babes?

The narcissistic ass-hats at The Free Press are not the answer to how obnoxious TheLeft™ has gotten. But we are married and this is NOT gonna be the end of this partnership. Like is this a phase? What’s going on?

How do we deal with this?

Love,

Progressively more and more annoyed every day!

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

As someone who recently wrote a whole essay about how I’m probably voting for Kamala Harris, I’ll say this: it’s not a crime to participate in a broken system when no alternative exists. It sucks. Electoral politics bad. AND YET!

That said, I’m not in the business of judging anyone for how they choose to cope. Especially for people of color, especially for queer people. Liberation, in many ways, feels like a pipe dream. Unfortunately, liberalism does have a certain pragmatism to it. And I’ll fucking say it. Leftists are annoying as hell. We can’t all be perfect leftists outside of a vacuum, and I admire those of us who can.

When I start to wallow in all of this, I think of the words a friend of mine said about leftism and optimism. Something along the lines of my politics are leftist because I believe in the inherent goodness of people. There is something really beautiful about the belief that our politics can be optimistic, that the most important expression of political belief is community engagement. Sometimes we alienate ourselves from the possibility that we can actually do something good.

In terms of our particular political landscape, it’s looking a little bleak. I’m willing to admit that perhaps I spoke too soon about resigning myself to voting for Harris. I think continuing to apply pressure to her campaign instead of giving up and letting her go on as if she’s already got our votes should be our priority. What happens in November is happening in November. Right now, there are people dying and our energy should be put into advocating for them.

I think in terms of de-radicalization (radicalization to the left?) I would suggest lovingly and gently interrogate their belief system. Often times, I find that most people believe in leftism inherently and are simply feeling a little lost. The disconnect I think happens when the despondency of living in late-stage capitalism hits. A reminder that we can do better for each other in real and tangible ways is good. Stop freaking out about the big picture and do some good in your neighborhood. Find a project that you’re both passionate about and make it an activity that you can do with each other. Maybe it’s a little handhold-y, but I think if this is a relationship that you’re in for the long haul, a little handholding is perhaps necessary every now and then.

Yours In Love,

Ái Vy